Report by Daniel Mortlock:
Having repeatedly been, er, slaughtered by Slaughters United we put out a seriously strong side today, with lots of batting and bowling options - and even four plausible wicket-keepers. However, from the moment the Slaughters side headed out into the field, it was clear that the fixture was again going to be one-sided, albeit this time in our favour: half their side were 13-14 year-olds; and the adult players all seemed to have back-stories along the lines of "haven't played for decades", "just got the afternoon off work and doesn't have whites" or "is only playing to have a game with his son".
Other than the early loss of yesterday's hero Will Crossley for 9 (off 15 balls), it was runs for fun as Kittows Dave (82 off 59 balls) and Ben (22 off 36 balls) trialled their new telepathic approach to run calling. There was no escaping the fact that the bowling was pretty poor during the first half of the innings, with lots of short and wide balls, which DK in particular punished to the full as he hit 14 fours and a six. The only real exception was the spell of excellent leg-spin from Harry Rollinson, the most extrovert of the Slaughters' junior contingent, who provided the absolute highlight of the game when he induced a mis-hit from Ed Crossley (1 off 3 balls) which flew to the right of his non-cricketing father, Tom, fielding in a flat cap at mid-wicket. The ball was in the air long enough for Harry to shout "please Dad!" as Tom made good ground and eventually completed a superb running catch, apparently his first in any cricket. The bowling improved in the second half of the innings, although Harry Houlder (34 off 35 balls) and James Wyatt (29* off 36 balls) were up to the task, eventually taking us to a surely winning total of 216/8 from our 35 overs.
Our time in the field was defined by a steady turn-over of batters as Daniel Mortlock (2/12), Ed Crossley (1/15), Will Crossley (1/7) and Joe White (2/5) all got wickets with their medium pace, well backed up by some (mostly) good catching. The absolute highlight was James Houlder's brilliant grab off Joe fielding close in at gully, although perhaps more enjoyable was when Ben held onto a high drive at mid-off, despite an inner monologue Ben himself admitted was "shit shit shit shit . . .", and then shelled a near-identical chance off the next ball. Harry Houlder (4/17) then completed a superb all-round performance, mopping up the tail with a combination of big-turning leggies and surprisingly effective full-tosses. The star of the innings, though, was the Slaughters opening batter Riley Bates, who carried his bat for a superb 72* off 91 balls.
The early finish - we bowled only 28.5 of our 35 overs - meant plenty of time to have a drink with the oppo. The main topic of discussion was how we can try to organise a more balanced game between the two clubs: including today's result, the five completed FAS vs. Slaughters games have seen runs margins of 48, 72 and 84, and successful chases with around 5 overs to spare.
Report by Jamie Dare:
On a sunny Sunday afternoon at Bibury, the FAS, skippered by Big Jim with a healthy Dare contingent of five Dares among the eleven, won the toss and elected to field first - clearly taking a leaf out of England's "Bazballian" approach to believing they can chase any total set by Bibury within the allotted 30 overs. Walking out onto the field with various pop anthems blaring out from the speakers of the Bibury fan enclosure, you would be forgiven for thinking that you had rocked up to T20 finals day at Edgbaston as opposed to a quiet village ground in Gloucestershire. It was brothers Jamie and Tom Dare who took the new ball for the FAS - Jamie bowled sharply, but was evenly matched by the Bibury opener who scored several fours through the covers with some expansive drives, interspersed with a few plays and misses. Finally, Jamie managed to penetrate the openers defences by knocking back his middle stump, and the FAS were underway. Tom Dare provided excellent support at the other end with a tidy spell of 1/42 off 6 overs. He bowled a tight line to the number 3 batsman, and was rewarded for his efforts with a fantastic nip-backer through the gate which took off peg.
Following on from the opening brace from the junior Dare brothers, it was time to unleash the FAS engine room – Hal Dare, predominantly known in recent years for his batting contributions rather than bowling, decided to turn his arm over with some off-spin(?), picking up an impressive 1/1 in his first 2-over spell, although caveated by the fact that he had dismissed a ten-year-old girl after she had only faced 5 balls. Hal thankfully refrained from giving her an expletive-laden send-off after dismissing her for a duck – clearly Cliff's genetics only go so far. Messrs J. Dare Snr and C. Lion used all their years of experience to deceive the Bibury batters with some (extreme) flight and guile, finishing with figures of 2/33 off 6 overs and 1/20 off 3 overs, respectively. Notable wickets include a textbook stumping from Chris Barras and a sharp caught and bowled from Joss.
With the score evenly poised at 145/6 with about 5 overs left to play, it fell upon Cliff Dare and Jamie Dare to clean up the tail. Cliff rolled back the years with a fiery spell of 1/11 off 6 overs (including a trademark send-off to one of the lower-order batsmen), while Jamie decided to pivot to left-arm tweakers to full effect, cleaning up the remainder of the tail to bowl out Bibury for 150 and finish with figures of 4/23 off 5.2 overs – a spell he will no doubt use as evidence of his effectiveness as a spin bowler for years to come.
After a fantastic tea provided by Bibury, it was time to set off chasing this fairly large total. Father and son duo George and Justin Bradford strode out as the opening pairing to start our innings, and proceedings were going well when George stroked the ball to the fence to get off the mark. This optimism was, unfortunately, short-lived: a mini-collapse ensued and FAS were 29/3. A fantastic knock of 60 (off 66 balls) by Big Jim, supported by a knock of 16 (off 23 balls) by Jamie Dare, took the total to 121/4 with Joss Dare and Big Jim at the crease following Jamie's departure. This innings was not without drama - calamity ensued as one of the Bibury fielders thought it sensible to use his head to stop one of Joss's cover drives, and thus a dead ball had to be called due to a possible injury occurrence - Cliff, as per usual being deeply sympathetic and concerned for the player’s safety, made sure to check on the player's welfare (concluding that the full-on frontal knock was "just a graze" and that "he’s fine") and politely enquired with the Bibury skipper as to whether his dead ball call was correct. He naturally took it very well when he was told that he was in fact, incorrect, and was diplomatic and respectful about the decision so as to not put future matches between the two sides in jeopardy (something that would be wholly out of character).
The situation became a little tense once Big Jim was out LBW and Cliff Dare had departed for a swift 1 off 3 balls. FAS were left floundering at 126/6, soon to be 141/7 after Joss Dare departed for a steadfast 12 off 26 balls. While time was not an issue, wickets were quickly becoming a major problem, given that the remaining batting consisted of Sven and Faruk. With the match tantalisingly poised - FAS needing a further 10 runs while Bibury needing 3 wickets - Tom Dare nonchalantly cut his first and only ball for four, finishing on 4* off 1 balls and earning himself the nickname "Tommy 400" – referencing both his finishing strike rate as well as the number of beers he consumed following the game. Chris Barras safely saw the FAS home with a calm 13* (off 15 balls), and the FAS were victorious once more. A quick drink followed at Bibury's newly built "rum-shack" before the team returned back to the Dene for the usual quiet couple of drinks and dinner.