Glossary

Within the closeted world of the FAS tour a peculiar and colourful vernacular has developed. This glossary is a guide to the prospective or new player, to enable them to navigate the dinner table discussions with some idea as to what's going on.

bibere aude

The inscription on the yard, "Dare to drink" (pretty aposite given the foul-smelling concoctions usually involved).

bolt

To down in one; neck; see off.

DNB; DNB; TFC

"Did not bat; did not bowl; thanks for coming." What is known as "a bad day at the office".

fines

Each day on tour a player racks up fines for various misdemenors. This could be poor playing (e.g., a dropped catch), memorable quotes, or even some physical characteristic of the player (e.g., ginger hair). Players get fined at the end of the day and all moneys go to a chosen charity for the tour.

Frabbit

Tour member, with unfortunately large front teeth, often prone to embarrassing outbursts if provoked, usually under the influence of alcohol. Particularly suceptible to heavy fines. Examples include: attempts to bottle fellow tourists; offering noshingtons to fellow tourists for a small fee; sleeping in the laundry room; and inabilty to prounouce the word "rabbit", leading to the inevitable nickname Frabbit. Name of particular tourist unavailable for legal reasons.

Hookie

Familiar name for one of the local ales, arising from Hook Norton. Along with Jouster it has become the official tour ale and has been known to wreak havoc upon the bowels of many a tourist.

jubilee

1. A time or season for rejoicing.

2. A special anniversary (esp. 25th, 50th, etc.).

jubileer

1. One who leers jubilantly.

2. A handsome young FAS tourist attending the FAS Silver Jubilee.

jug

1. The mighty FAS jug, specially commissioned by Dave Harrop. Holds a gallon. Makes for an unpleasant bolt.

2. One half of the barmaid's chest.

ludere aude

"Dare to play", the FAS motto.

only when the car breaks down

When, and only when, a FAS tourist should walk.

pies

Purveyed in large quantities by a certain tourist (A. Trowbridge) and consumed in equal quantities by another (C. Dare).

reverse sweep

A familiar command/request from the boundary rope for that riskiest of shots (which becomes peculiarly hard to hear when one reaches the middle).

Satan, Lord of Darkness

An individual who turns from the mild mannered janitor to the purveyor of all evil when a drinking game is in the offing.

stroker

One who strokes.

tour grip

The standard method for holding one's drinking vessel throughout the duration of the tour. The vessel shall be gripped with the thumb and two middle fingers, with the index finger and little finger clearly removed from the vessel.

Wilty

To shag a random bird of an evening but refuse to tell the lads about it the next morning by claiming a "gentleman's privelege".

Winston

A hugely entertaining yet rarely sighted tourist. Usually appears when least expected after a gap of several years and then almost always at least half pissed. Is unfailingly incoherant and the owner of an impenetrably thick West Indian accent. Amazingly becomes still more incomprehensible as the evening (and then morning) wears on. Was the "character of the tour" for so many years running they gave him the trophy.

yard

The glass yard arm presented to the FAS by Victoria Dare in 1996. Very rarely filled only with ale. Once filled with a 90 per cent tobasco sauce bloody mary for Roger Bainbridge's 50th.